


30 Minutes

by MissSugarPink



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Based on a song, Cussing, Dead Nepeta Leijon, Depression, Gamzee Makara and Karkat Vantas Moirallegiance, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Kismesissitude, Minor Redrom, POV Second Person, Sadstuck, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, non-canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-13 02:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4504245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissSugarPink/pseuds/MissSugarPink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't want you in this battle, Karkat."<br/>"WHAT?!"<br/>"I swore to Echidna that I would protect you."<br/>"Why the FUCK should I agree to this?"<br/>"Echidna seemed to think it was a good idea."<br/>"Well fuck me, if the giant worm says to, it's probably a fucking good idea. Besides - honestly, Kanaya? I'm not... totally opposed to staying behind."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Well, If The Giant Worm Says To...

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on 30 Minutes by t.A.T.u. I heard it for the first time and just had to write this! ^u^ Please enjoy!

“I’m not… totally opposed to staying behind.”

“Really?”

You gulp, rubbing your neck. “Yeah! I mean… it’s going to be fucking awful in this place, but… maybe your denizen is right. She wants you to protect me for some reason. Let’s be real here, I just told you all the fucking reasons to leave me behind anyways. Maybe… maybe it’s just best I stay.”

Kanaya smiles at you, putting a hand on your shoulder. “I believe this to be for the best.”

You shrug her hand off, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll stay behind like a wriggler while his lusus kills the big bad monsters.”

Kanaya raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Do you see me as your lusus, Karkat?” You groan, shoving your hand into your face. “Should I bring you milk like Equuis’ lusus did?”

You look at her, deadpanned. “Just…” You groan again. “Go on, Maryam. The battle’ll be soon. What would Dave say… Yeah, go wreck their shit.”

Kanaya chuckles. “Alright, alright. Stay safe in here. I’ll be back soon, hopefully.”

You watch her go and sigh softly to yourself. “Yeah… Hopefully the battle will be over quick.” You look around and sit, crossing your legs. You stare at the bubbling lava and glittering grey crystals around you before promptly lying back, groaning. “Fuck. Maybe she should have knocked me out. I’m already bored out of my mother fucking think pan.”

You sigh again. You do that a lot. Karkat Vantas, the sigher. You almost smirk a bit as you think of the name. Somehow, you feel like John Egbert would get a kick out of that. Dave might too. He would probably think it was ironic or something. You think Dave doesn’t know what that word actually means, but whatever - dude does whatever the fuck he wants.

You get to thinking. Not much else to do right now, after all. You start thinking about yourself.

Your name is Karkat Vantas. Your official title is ‘Knight of Blood’, but you never reached God Tier. You were never strong enough and never cared enough to find your quest bed. Yay for you.

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You’ve never really successfully filled your quadrants - not really. You might’ve had a few romps in red or black respectively, but they’ve all ended in ways you really don’t care to go into.

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You’re a bit crabby and usually you’re pissed off. You guess that’s why your lusus resembled a crab. You’re ill mannered and yell a lot, but some people who get close enough to you seem to realize that you’re a lot more than just that. You’ll listen.

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You are a troll. And you have 30 minutes until something big happens. But you don’t know that yet.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and the only thing you really know is that you are a complete fucking failure.

_29:59_


	2. The Blink Of An Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The need for power and relief overtake Karkat, even without him realizing it. He should really know by now just how sharp those nails of his are...

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and the only thing you really know is you are a complete fucking failure.

You shut your eyes as you think about it all. All the times in the past you had failed. All the times you were going to fail in the future. Who knows, maybe this is a doomed timeline and you’re making a huge mistake right now. Honestly, you’d almost expect that at this point. It’s just the sort of thing this game would throw at you.

This game… How did you end up getting absorbed into this? Why did life decide that the creation of a whole new universe rested on your shoulders? Whose idea was this?

You’re not a leader, no matter what Kanaya seems to think. It’s taken you awhile to realize that, but you’ve never been a leader. Everyone in this game led themselves. Together, you formed a sort of team, but that’s only because you all shared a common goal. You all wanted that fucking game to end, and that was that.

But you even failed at that, didn’t you? 

With a sigh, you sit up again. Lying down isn’t helping any. You glance around at the crystals around you, frowning lightly. You’re still trapped in this awful game, this awful place, and you know you’re the reason why. Had you just… done what you needed to do, the way it needed to happen, then NONE of this bullshit would have happened.

The humans would’ve existed normally. They would’ve grown in a fully developed universe, their frog never having cancer. Jack Noir would never have trapped him and his friends on that meteor like he had and they wouldn’t be fighting him now. If you had just done what you needed to do, your friends…

You wince and shut your eyes. _My friends._

You stand and cross over to the wall of crystals nearby, only to sit once more and lean against it. You draw your knees up to yourself and rest your chin on them, shutting your eyes once more. You take a deep breath, exhaling and relaxing as best you can.

For some reason, her words keep coming back to you. 

_“You really don’t have even the slightest sense of what you stand for? Some concept that speaks to you in some way or represents ideals important to you?”_

You scowl as you remember your pitiful answer. “Blood,” you whisper to yourself. “Of course I said blood.” You shake your head, pulling your knees closer. You wish you knew who you were supposed to be or what you were supposed to do. Leadership couldn’t be it, no matter what Echidna tried to say. You wouldn’t make a good leader. This game had made that quite clear.

_“Blood?”_

_“No, not blood… I mean, not really. Maybe? Honestly, I don’t even know what that means or why I said it.”_

Yes you do. You said it because you’re clueless as to who you are. You said it because it’s the safe answer, it’s the one she won’t question much. Because if you told her the truth, she’d think you went grimdark or something. If you told her the truth, she’d think you went sober. How could you tell her that the only thing you really believe anymore is that you should…

That you should be dead?

_“At first, I thought Blood just meant, like… something about being a warrior!”_

You thought it meant you should bleed for them. You thought it meant that you would keep them all alive. You thought it meant that they wouldn’t die. You thought wrong.

_“As more time passed… I realized there was probably a lot more to it. And I still don’t understand - maybe I never will - but, you know, even though I don’t have those immature views on being a bigshot anymore… I still want to fight!”_

You shut your eyes tighter, trying to block out any light from the outside as you remember the conversation; beyond that, you remember the fights. You had been weak. Terezi had to help you most of the way by being such a badass. Why did you have to be born so weak? Why did YOU of all trolls have to be born a mother fucking mutant?

_“Look, I completely admit: I’m shit. I’m the shit they reserve for the smelliest toilet when it comes to fighting ability.”_

You’re fucking worthless when it comes to fighting. Be real. You hardly even damaged the king in the final fight; even Tavros did more to help than you did. A cripple can fight better than you.

 _“I’m not a god tier… but you know what? Neither are you, and neither is Terezi, but you’re both great, and deadly as shit. It’s no excuse… I’ve never been any good, and it took me a long time to come to terms with how deluded I was about that.”_

You open your eyes again, realizing you're crying. “Shit.” You quickly wipe your palm over your cheeks, trying to make sure you don’t stain everything fucking red. No need to make Kanaya or the giant fucking worm worry; you’re not bleeding. You didn’t cut yourself on a crystal being a clumsy moron or some shit.

You pause as you look at the red in your hand. You stop and look at the tears there for jegus knows how long. 

You might not be bleeding… but you sure as hell want to be.

You shake your head, growling lightly. “Oh, grow the FUCK up, Vantas! Get over this bullshit!” You ball up your fist and dry the rest of your tears, wiping your hands on the crystals around you. “Look at you, crying like a mother fucking wriggler making it’s way out of the caverns. You’re completely fucking pathetic.”

A particularly loud screech from deeper in the cavern draws your attention. You look back, catching the briefest glimpse of Kanaya’s denizen. Your frowning again. “Hell… even your Denizen know you were shit.”

_“I never… told anyone this, but… even when I beat my denizen, I’m pretty sure that’s only because I got the one reserved for the weakest players. Like… a special one.”_

You clench your fist tighter. 

_“When I got to him, he was… weirdly small? Like just really small. And he mumbles his choise shit, which of course I completely ignore, and he seems to know I will. I can hear it in his voice. He… He knows I won’t care. He can sense my contempt, he can sense how **small** and **pitiful** I feel, and because he’s like all knowing and shit, he’s factored this in.”_

You groan, shutting your eyes again, gritting your teeth as you dig your nails into your palm. Why the fuck did you SAY that!? Why did you think it was a good idea to tell Kanaya all of that bullshit?! She’ll probably go blabbing about that to Rose. You’ll never hear the fucking end of it now. But you had to open your big mouth, you just HAD to wonder if anyone actually understood how you felt recently… And you even kept GOING after you had fucked it all up. You still kept fucking talking.

_“On some level, I think I understood all this, and it just made me furious. So I killed him… and it was too easy. Even for me, it was easy.”_

You gasp in pain and your eyes shoot open. You look down at your hand, seeing where your nails dug into your palm. You blink a few times; when did that happen?...

Blood is welling up in beads around the split skin, red bubbles of liquid that pop and turn to streams. The blood traces the lines in your palm. It’s not much, but as you blink again, you realize something. Your name is Karkat Vantas and you just made yourself bleed.

Looking at the blood… you like the pain you feel in your hand. You like seeing that blood leaving your body, that hideous fucking blood that has literally haunted you your entire life. You like the feeling of control over it you finally have in this one instant, this one instant of power over something. Power over yourself, over your own emotions… You feel a bit of a rush. You feel… excited. You… enjoy bleeding. 

“... Shit.”

_24:52_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting these out pretty fast now. ^u^ Please comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


	3. To Alter Our Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did he do that? Now all those nasty questions are going to spring up...

You frown as you look at the tear in your favorite shirt. Maybe Kanaya or Rose could fix it later…

Still, you needed the cloth. You look back at your now bandaged hand. With a soft sigh, you lean back against the wall, shutting your eyes. What are you gonna tell Kanaya?

“I’ll just tell her I fell and hurt my hand on a crystal or something…” You rub your face with your good hand, groaning. “It’ll work out in the end.”

You gulp, putting your hands at your sides, thinking about what led up to your… whatever the hell that was. Episode? No, that makes you sound insane. Your… slip up. 

It happened so fast. You hardly even felt it. Why did you… enjoy it so much?

You shut your eyes, getting the image in your head of what it looked like again. It hadn’t been very much blood, but something about it had made you feel better. Somehow, some way, even though it was an accident, cutting yourself helped. Your hand stung a bit now, but that felt good too, in a way. You felt better than you had in a long time, actually, and that in itself made you worried. “Fuck… this is so fucking messed up.”

You look at it again. “Is this what my aspect means? I like to bleed?” You think back to when you and Jack had bonded over your blood color; the way your side stung back then… “Yeah. No. That sucked ass.” You shake your head, closing your eyes again. “So why the fuck does it feel good now? Something must have changed...”

Echidna screeches again. “Ugh, shut up…” You put your good hand against your forehead, resting your elbow on your knee. You just sit for a while, thinking. You think about your hand and your mutant blood and what’s going to happen after this game. 

Echidna wants you to lead a new race of trolls. You're not totally sure if this 'new race' thing will even work, but you have to try. What would everyone think if you gave up? Well, probably no less than they think of you already. You owe it for all those random trolls the asteroids killed, you guess. 

You gulp, thinking about them all. An entire race, gone; almost extinct. Echidna wants you to raise and lead an _entire_ planet. You couldn't even handle ectobiology with random wrigglers (who later turned out to be those putrid bulgehumping morons of ancestors you kept dealing with). How were you going to handle a full race?

You wish you had defied Kanaya. You wish you had gone with her to the battle; then you could have at least you could have pretended to be worth something. Then you could have done _something_ for the team. 

_"But, yeah, my utterly tragic lameness attribute notwithstanding, I'd still like to contribute! I know it won't count for much... I might even get in the way of somebody competent, but... it matters to me, to put everything on the line, for all the **right** reasons this time." _

You sigh. What were the right reasons? Saving someone? Proving to yourself that you're not a total waste of space? Like that was ever going to happen.

_"Not to prove I'm strong or awesome or anything. The opposite, really... to put myself out there knowing perfectly well I'm not."_

What the fuck does that mean? Why should it matter at all if you put yourself in everyone's way and fuck everything up? Everyone already knows you're a complete bulgesucking noofwink of a fucksack. You're such shit at fighting, it would help so much more if you just stayed in the shadows, out of their ways; out of their lives, really.

_"I feel like I have to earn the right to inherit this universe like everyone else, not just get dragged into it on the loose fabric of everyone's fucking pajamas."_

"You are so full of bullshit, Vantas," you mutter. "You've been perfectly fucking happy with being literally the worst member on this team until now. What changed?"

_"It also feels important to just... I don't know... stand there with my friends?"_

"But WHY? Why now, why is ANY of this happening now?"

_"They're risking their lives, and they may be more supernaturally resilient or whatever, but hey - I should be risking mine too."_

Your eyes widen as you remember what you had been saying, then. You should risk it too; your life. 

_"To at least show I'm there with them. And who knows, maybe a moment will present itself..."_

To risk everything. To show them you're there. To save them, or...

_"A moment where I can do something important, like nudge someone out of the way of a random flying fuckball just in time or some other small thing actually within my ability."_

A time to risk it all. A time when it would be perfectly acceptable if you... It would be a time where maybe, just maybe...

_"Maybe I'll die in the process of saving someone more crucial to victory?"_

"I... I want to die?"

_"If that's what it takes to be a part of this, so be it."_

That’s what changed. There was a chance now. You hadn’t really been in any epic battles, other than fighting the king, and as much as you profess otherwise, your friends probably wouldn’t have survived without your help. But now, with everything on the line, this is the one place where your sacrifice could matter.

You're okay with dying. Not only that, but you want to die. You're terrified shitless of it, of what your friends would think... but if it happened in battle, if you died in their place... It would be over. You would have DONE something, become valuable. You would have at least saved someone from your own fate, and then they would never have to worry about you again. 

You want to die, through any means necessary, because that would help everyone.

_"I'm in."_

_21:13_


	4. To Make Up Your Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a few seconds of relief. That's all he wants. 
> 
> So let's give it to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: [SPOILER ALERT!] Self Harm

You shake your head, shocked. You're not positive how to react to this. Fear? Confusion? Self loathing the likes of which you have never known?

Or... relief? 

"I... I want to die," you repeat, getting used to saying it. You quickly groan, shaking your head again. "No. Don't fucking get used to it. Don't get used to saying such weird shit." You gulp, taking a shuddering breath. "Just... calm down. You don't really want to die."

Yes. You _do_.

You shut your eyes tightly, holding your head. Why would you want to... You can hardly comprehend it. Was this some sort of in game affliction or something? You'd never heard of a troll who wanted to kill themselves. And why the fuck would you feel relieved to know that you're that messed up inside? "Am I like Equius? Do I just get off to this sort of self loathing?" You groan, wishing your head would stop hurting. 

“JEGUS FUCK!” You hold your ears as the Echidna screeches once again, louder than she’s done before. You would go over there and give her a piece of your mind, but it’s not like you can understand her anyways. It’d be worthless.

Just like you.

You take a deep breath as her screaming is finished. How can Kanaya deal with her? You rub your head with another soft groan, thinking about Kanaya. You’d really grown over this past sweep. You were close enough to be thought of as Moirails, honestly. Maybe that’s why she believes in you so much.

_”That’s why you’re our leader, Karkat.”_

You frown softly as you remember how you dismissed her. You didn’t want to hear all that from her. It makes sense now, why. After all, what leader wants to kill themselves?

_“I’m not your fucking leader!!!”_

_“Statements like that are also why you’re our leader.”_

_”No, I don’t accept that.”_

_“You have to.”_

“Ugh, Kanaya…” You rub your face, opening your eyes again as you look at the bandage around your hand. “You can’t make this decision for me. If I really am your leader, then why would you need to leave me behind… Why would any leader be as pointless as me?” You shut your eyes again. Why would any leader act the way you do?

_“What? Why? No, I don’t. Look, we **just** established this back on the pad. I’m not leader anymore. End of story.”_

_“That isn’t what Echidna said.”_

And, of course, she had to say that.

_"It was part of the deal."_

_"What? What deal?" ___

_"The choice she gave me. It was straightforward, like I said. Seeing us was mostly a formality."_

The more she said, the more authority she seemed to have. Everything she was saying made logical sense if you didn't look into it too much. Of course you heard her out.

_"She was perfectly willing to release the frog, but there was one small thing I had to agree to first."_

_"What?"_

_"To protect you."_

"Why did I listen to her," you mutter. You shake your head; it's obvious now what happened. You just didn’t see it before because you were too stupid to even notice. Echidna didn't ask Kanaya for that 'one condition'. Echidna didn't tell her to protect you. Kanaya lied.

She lied because she's more loyal than she is honest. She wants you to stay safe, and she knows. She knows you're pathetic. She knows that if you tried to fight in this battle, you would die. She knows that keeping you out of the way is best - for everyone.

You're not a leader. You're just some helpless mutant who happens to be friends with someone who, for some ungodly reason, has taken interest in your welfare. Not only that, but she wants you to be happy. Kanaya wanted to give you something to live for.

It didn’t work.

_"To protect you, in addition to living up to the things I supposedly stand for as well: the resurrection of our people. But, once I did that, she made it clear. They'd need guidance."_

You stare at your bandaged hand, frowning. You shut your eyes softly, thinking about everything she had said. You wish what she had said would’ve made you better. Less… whatever the fuck you are now. But everything she told you just made you feel worse. You don’t want people looking up to you. You don’t want trolls relying on you.

You don’t deserve that, and neither do they deserve you.

You feel tears in your eyes. “Grow up, Vantas,” you say, your voice lacking conviction. You still cry, just praying that you don’t stain everything red… But would red be bad? You’re not even sure anymore. You seemed to like it plenty earlier when you managed to cut yourself. You even felt happy for once. In control. _Relieved._

You remember you have your sickle with you.

_"She didn't seem happy with the idea of her universe being stricken with another race of lost trolls."_

_Another_ race. You're part of that lost race of trolls. Everyone else is dead. Is that why you want to die? To go back? To be part of that?

_You get out your sickle. You just want to try it one more time. You want to understand what's wrong with you._

_"Maybe she feels you are the best chance we'd have at preventing that."_

You bite your lip, looking at the sickle hovering above your arm. Just one cut... You can cover it up just like you did with the other one. But what if this is a mistake? What if you're just fucking up again?

_Make up your mind, Karkat. It's time to decide. Just think about it._ You gulp, trying to shake your thoughts out of your head, but they won’t go away. You just… need to feel it. Just a single cut. One stroke of the blade. Just a second of relief. That's all you want. 

You've made up your mind. You shut your eyes. You don't want to watch.

You bring down the sickle.

_17:01_


	5. To Whisper Your Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time shenanigans just make your head hurt.

You cover your ears again, the sickle clattering to the floor as the ground shakes. Your arm is forgotten for the time being, uncut; Echidna is louder than ever. She's screaming and it is **fucking** annoying. What the fuck was she even trying to say?! 

_Karkat!_

Your eyes widen. You... heard that one. She said your name. You flip around and start walking towards her. She stops screaming as you keep walking, eyes wide with shock and bewilderment. “... What.”

 _Well it’s high time you heard me._ You wince lightly at her voice; you can hear her, but you can still hear the screeching behind it.

“B-but… How? I already killed the crotchsucking wriggling beast that was my denizen.”

_How eloquent._

You scowl at her. “Just answer the question.”

_Your denizen is not the only you can converse with. He was simply the only one willing to try._

“What do you mean? You're the only other denizen I've had the displeasure of talking to, and I can hear you just fine.”

_I am only speaking with you now because time has run out. Or, because it will shortly._

“Gee, you know what I just love? All the fucking vagueness! Why don't we continue to say absolutely nothing meaningful while pretending it's something interesting?”

She seems amused. _I would, but I am afraid you already have the position of being absolutely nothing meaningful fulfilled._

You stop, surprised. 

_Ah. It appears I have struck a nerve._ She looks at you pointedly. _At least I did so before you ‘struck a nerve’ yourself._

You look at your arm. Oh. Yeah. “What do you care? Again, you’re not my denizen.”

 _I may not be your denizen, but desperate times require desperation of us all._ Her eyes close. _And, sadly, I fear there is no more desperate a situation than this._

“Gee, thanks.” So even the almighty Echidna thought you needed help. Great. 

_Do not be so offended, child._ You scowl. You aren't a fucking child. She smiles, though (not like she ever stopped). _The desperation here is a split in time, and not your foolish death wishes._

Foolish? Fuck, what a heartless bitch. “Split in time? Yeah yeah, we already know all about how John fucked time up the ass.”

_That is not the split in time I speak of. No, I speak of what is to come. You will need to make a choice, young one._

“A choice?” You groan, shaking your head. “Can't you just cut through the vague bullshit and tell me what this big choice thing is?”

She never stops smiling. _Alright._ You’re a bit surprised by that; you expected more of an argument on that one. _You see Karkat, in exactly 16 minutes, something will happen. I'm not at liberty to say what, but… It will decide the fate of all in this timeline. And it all comes down to one simple choice - either you stay here in this cave with me, or you leave the cave and abandon your friends._

You take a minute to process what she says. 

“Abandon my friends?”

_Indeed. If you leave, you will not see your friends for a rather long time._

“I don’t get it. Why?”

_Because, my friend, that is the way this game works._

“Well, fuck the game.” Your eyes narrow. “We have been working, hard, to finish this stupid thing up, and you know what? I am sick and tired of bowing to this stupidity. It’s consumed years of my life.” You shut your eyes. You’re so fucking tired of this shit. Of your friends dying. Of you wanting to… 

Fuck.

You really wanted this to just be over.

_I’m afraid it’s not your place to decide._

You open your eyes again, glaring. “So, what, I’m not allowed to think for myself? I don’t have free will, I don’t have opinions, I just have to listen to what you say and do it?” 

_Not at all. You have a very simple choice. Stay, or leave. It is not hard to choose, though it will take you 15 minutes and 17 seconds to do so._

You rub your skull, groaning. Her voice is still annoying. The worst part is, she’s right. Choosing to do nothing means staying here. Choosing to leave is a choice. No matter what, you have a choice here, and according to her, the fate of the world rests on your shoulders. “Which one ends up with this game being done and as many of us alive as possible?”

_That… depends._

“I thought I said cut the vague bullshit.”

She admittedly has the patience of a saint. _I cannot tell you everything, Karkat. I cannot influence you one way or the other. Doing so would violate-_

“The rules. Yeah, yeah, I know.” You rub your neck, sighing. All thoughts of cutting your arm have fled; no point now. The longing feeling to see your blood is gone for some reason, and you’re not even sure why. You just know you have almost a purpose now. Unless this bitch is lying to you - and honestly, you wouldn’t put it past her.

But, well, you unfortunately have a habit of trusting people that you shouldn’t.

“Let me ask you this then.” You look up, determined to come to a decision. “If I walk out of this cave… If I abandon my friends, will they even care?”

Echidna watches you curiously. _What do they matter? You did not care about them just moments ago when you were going to harm yourself._

“This is different.”

_How?_

You’re not sure. “Look, it’s a simple question. Will they care if I leave?”

_Yes._

“Then I’m staying.” She never stops smiling, does she? She doesn’t even fucking blink at your announcement. “Nice talking to you, weird bullshit game-worm. Now be quiet, you’re giving me a headache.”

 _If you insist._ She sounds like she's laughing, but she sounds resigned at the same time. Weird.

All the noises stop. You almost purr. It is so much quieter now - you can just hear the sound of the lava near by, slowly shifting and moving and singing the edges of the walls it runs down. You walk back over to your sickle and pick it up, sitting down.

You stare at the edge of it, imagining your blood on it. Had Echidna not spoken… Had she altered the timeline? Would you have been brave enough to do it

Were you even brave enough to try it now?

You swallow and put away your sickle, licking your lips. She had a point, of course. If you care about them caring about you now, you can’t just go back on that to hurt yourself in a moment self-pity. Besides - that relief you had wanted to feel came. It came when there was finally silence in here. 

You take a deep breath. You need to get your mind off of things. 

All of this shit is making you tired. Surely you have time for just…

Just a fast nap.

Your eyelids feel heavy.

Slowly, you doze off.

In the distance, you hear a familiar voice, soft, almost a whisper.

Quiet.

“Karkitty?"

_14:57_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize to you all for the ridiculously long wait. I highly doubt any of you are keeping up with this old thing, but those of you who waited for me, thank you. I've been going through some mental health issues recently, and this subject matter became a little too hot to handle, haha... Not to mention, my one DaveKat fanfiction is doing much better than I ever imagined.
> 
> I'll be trying to work on this old thing more. :) Thank you all for reading, and I hope you continue to enjoy.
> 
> PS: If you all want to reach me at a place beyond archive, I now have an official tumblr: misssugarpinkshome.tumblr.com !


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